Thank you for bringing up the important observation from your own personal experience that what worked for you at one stage of your development may not necessarily work at the next stage. What this means is that you may need to redefine and rethink such common words as "independence" by making accommodations and adaptations so that you feel it fits with who you are becoming.

 

Socialization is not a passive process. It does take time and effort- but don't most things that are worthwhile and good for us require our taking some action-to extend ourselves, to make a plan, and to follow through? Have you ever noticed how heavy the telephone becomes when you are feeling lonely? It becomes a huge effort just to pick it up and reach out; however, once you make the call, you may wonder what took you so long to do it: You feel reassured, comforted, connected, and not alone.

 

You may be familiar with Eric Erickson, a Pulitzer Prize-winning developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst. When he and his wife Joan were in their late eighties, together they expanded upon their theories due to their own personal experiences of growing old. Eric Erickson observed that the sense of trust that begins to develop from an infant's experience of a loving and supportive environment becomes in old age an appreciation of human interdependence. Joan Erickson poignantly remarked "Life doesn't make sense without interdependence, we need each other and the sooner we learn that the better for us all." 

 

Consider joining a group at church or temple, taking a class, volunteering, starting a book club, inviting a neighbor over for lunch, or having your coffee at a café instead of at home once in a while. It is never too late to make changes in your life and I applaud you for identifying an unmet need and taking a proactive role to meet that need! Read more...